sick day
despite sleeping all weekend, and not going further then “tapas” the phenom of a wrap joint down the block, I was still unable to make it into work on this monday morning. maybe God wanted me to stay home and take a break from the right brained environment of a database software company. i have pretty much sat in bed all day, with the delightful visit of my future wifey around lunch time.
i began to wonder around facebook, and it didn’t take too long for me to get lost in a world that was so far from my own. have you ever looked at other people’s lives (or what they’d like you to think their lives are by portraying them in a certain light via the internet), but either way, you look at their “lives” and wonder why you neglect to delight in the things that they delight in. or maybe better said, you envy a little bit. in this instance, it’s not that i envied someone for what they have, but for simply the way in which they choose to live, because it so blatantly points out the folly in my living. I guess that is part of our human condition, to look upon others and instantly feel as though we don’t measure up. I think i am getting better with this though. i think i used to do this, you know look at others and feel uncomfortable in my own skin, so I’d strive to actually live exactly like that person, as if that would solve my problems. I’d try to mimick them, or do what they are doing in order to feel like them. Inevitably though the pendulum would swing back towards the center of who i am, and it would feel like a failure once again.
as most of my posts here, I will end with my conclusion to this whole feeling. my conclusion is that we will inevitably measure ourselves against our peers. we are inherently imperfect human beings. but our decision of what to do once we get that feeling of envy is the difference. in my opinion, when we feel envy, we should strive to reach out and take the part of that person that we envy, store it away in our hearts, and remember what it is that made us envy, and appreciate that person even more because of it. to strip it down, turn this potentially negative feeling, and use it as a positive. turn envy into appreciation for difference, and respect for the endeavors of each imperfect human being.
